Relationship Repair allows students to fail and have a way to come back. It also supports healthy conflict and relationship restoration.

Apologizing is a good topic for discussion early in the school year.

It can be a good segue into discussions about empathy, point of view, forgiveness, or learning from mistakes depending on where your students take it.

• Real vs Fake Apologies

• Is there more to an apology than the word “sorry”?

• What are some criteria that an apology should have in order to be authentic?

• Do people have to forgive someone right away when an apology happens?

Some things to consider when establishing guidelines for apologies and repairing relationship are that it if a person is genuinely wanting to repair a mistake than it is not the time for excuses and defensiveness. Do not rationalize with a lot of buts. Here are some other examples of things not to say; “Sorryyyy…” or “I’m sorry you feel that way”, “Stop being so sensitive”, “I was just kidding”,“You did __________ so…” or over-the-top apologies. an apology should not be a monologue, it should be a conversation.

Own it:

Acknowledge what happened and take responsibility for it.

(“I did a thing that harmed you.”)

Fix it: 

Empathize and ask.

(“That must have felt _________. Is that true?”). 

Offer repair.

(“What can I do to make it up to you?” or “How can I repair this with you?”)

Learn from it and don’t repeat again.